Nonetheless, she had managed to start her transition as well,and was looking forward to being able to have SRS, though she realizedthat it would take a miracle to be able to afford it.Ellen invited Marsha to come live with her, and she of course hadaccepted. They now wore the same hairstyles and shared clothes, just asif they had grown up together as the closest of twin girls.At this point, I asked Ellen why Marsha had not come with her, and shetold me that they had one crisis. Ellen had been saving up money for SRSever since she had been a teenager, and now barely had enough forherself. Marsha had no savings at all. However, she absolutely insistedthat Ellen go ahead with her own plans as soon as possible. "My timewill come, sister, don't worry" she assured her. At this point, our hourcame to an end and so I told Ellen that we would have to continuetomorrow. When she left, and before my next client came in, I phoned Dr.Mautner's secretary and told her that I must see Dr.. And there was no way I could control it. I just cried like a baby until I was done and no amount of holding, consoling, or anything else had any effect. It was like a part of me died when he didn't come home. And of course, being his mother, there was always that nagging thought that I should have been able to do something to prevent it, even though I knew that wasn't true.The man who came out of that forest wasn't the boy I'd watched go in three months before. Bev had told me she was going to claim him years ago and had been getting her nerve up to really go for it all that time. When he left with her brother to do their wilderness thing, she grabbed him and laid one on him that I'm sure left him hard for the first few miles into the woods. She was worried about him when he didn't come back but she was still strong. She made no bones about it. When he came back (not if, but when), he was hers, no matter what. But when he did show up, she was the one following him around like a puppy.
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